Sex

While I am at work each day I often browse through the online news in the mornings and during the breaks. As I am unable to share news articles on Facebook (because it is blocked here), I email the articles to myself   with the intention of sharing it at a later time! But that never happens because the articles either become outdated by the time I remember to post them, or I hear someone comment on how annoying news-related Facebook posts can be, so I've decided to filter my deeper musings through to this page.

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I read the article "What the sex doctor orders" by Amrit Dhillon on SMH, Feb 28 2013. It is linked at the end of this page. The purpose of me referring to articles on this blog is not to paraphrase them here, or to repeat the same ideas. But to briefly share things which stir strong emotions inside me, whether it be anger happiness or  sadness.

The article is about a doctor named Mahinder Watsa who specialises in sex in India. He answers people's questions and concerns in the paper alongside seeing patients in person. Speaking about, writing about and depicting honest and natural sexual behaviour is sometimes a challenge in India, and can lead to major controversies especially when it comes to film. The article highlights a handful of common misconceptions about sex among young people in India, which I found to be quite frustrating but hardly shocking considering the number of people who are unable to access good education there.

''A man who had no sexual experience married a woman who happened to have received some basic sex education at her Catholic school,'' Watsa says. ''The first time they made love, neither had any idea what to do. So she made a suggestion. He was so horrified that she seemed to know about sex that he divorced her.''

This caught my attention because although I live in a developed country where there's little social pressure for anybody to be a virgin prior to marriage, I have still heard of this mentality showing through in our ethnic community. The idea of a girl knowing more or even as much as a man about sex is terrifying to them. This makes me angry, particularly because nowadays there is nothing you cannot Google to find out. And women are just as curious about sex as men are. And even if her knowledge came from practical experience, how she has chosen to use her body in the past does not define her morality. Or anyone's morality. So long as they did not hurt anybody in the process.


I have also heard of guys here becoming angry with their girlfriends because of the absence of blood during their first time. This frustrates me, as there is no way of telling if a man is a virgin or not, so it gives them no right to expect or want her body to show signs of virginity. 

''I had a 28-year-old woman from a rural background with no child. I told the husband to get a sperm count done,'' Watsa says. ''Before he could do it, she jumped into a well because the family kept blaming her. It's only when men remarry, after divorcing their wife for so called infertility, that they realise it's their problem because they can't conceive with the second wife either.''

Again, a similar kind of problem. I am surprised at how a family can blame the woman for everything, when they already know that it could be the man's problem (he was going to get a sperm count done - this validates my point that they were not uneducated about this). And many a times it is the mother-in-law and other female-in-laws who are most involved in the verbal taunting and blaming. They should know better. Everybody should know better. And that is why it is important for women to be independent and confident about their ability to live without a man, so that they don't jump into a well every time divorce is mentioned.

People say that ignorance is bliss. I believe ignorance is dangerous. Very very dangerous. I salute Dr Watsa for providing practical answers for the young generation, despite his age. He should be an inspiration to others in the same field as him.

Dr Mahinder Watsa

Full article: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/what-the-sex-doctor-orders-20130227-2f64a.html