Karva Chauth - Romantic or Sexist?

Karva Chauth is a day long Hindu festival celebrated by women in India. Married (and sometimes unmarried) women fast from sunrise to moon-rise for the longevity and health of their husbands. Fasting women do no house work during karva chauth. Gifts are exchanged and a ritualistic ceremony is held in the evening by women only, where stories are told, songs are sung and beautiful garments in red orange and gold are worn by participants. The fast is broken when the moon is sighted and the husband feeds the wife. Karva Chauth was celebrated on October 22 this year.

Without putting the above described rituals into context, one may mistakenly paint a mental picture of Karva Chauth as being a romantic tradition full of colour, vitality and representing the idealistic unconditional and selfless love a woman ought to feel towards her husband. In fact, on Taslima Nasreen's blog - where she criticised Karva Chauth for it's "patriarchal bullshit" - several responses in the comments section evidenced that many people still view it as a harmless occasion.

But I will argue that it is far from harmless. It is very important to realise the societal context which bred this festival in the first place, and therefore the mentality attached to it's very core. And this mentality reverberates in women throughout the subcontinent, Hindu or not.

Karva chauth is an embodiment of a woman's dependence on her husband. It is a yearly reminder to women in the subcontinent that it's their responsibility to pray and fast for the longevity of their husbands, and not a mutual effort made from both sides. 

In Hindu society, a woman is passed on from her father's home to her husbands home, and if she is lucky enough to birth a male child, she ultimately finds herself in the custody of her son's home. At no time in her life is she in control of her person-hood and independence. She is merely property.

"In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent." - Manusmriti Chapter 5/148.

Him to whom her father may give her, or her brother with the father's permission, she shall obey as long as he lives, and when he is dead, she must not insult (his memory)" - Manusmriti Chapter 5/151.

A woman may assume four different roles during her life: One of a dasi (slave), one of a mantri (counsellor or advisor), one of a mata (mother) and one of a rambha (lover). She is expected to manage her utensils and home with care, and is therefore locked into choices that give her no autonomy and no identity. She is owned, and does not own. She manages, but does not lead. As she is protected, fed and watered by her husband and his household, she is obliged to perform her duties without complaint.

"She must always be cheerful, clever in (the management of her) household affairs, careful in cleaning her utensils, and economical in expenditure" - Manusmriti 5/150.

Despite his shortcomings, a man should be treated like a deity by a wife, and this is the kind of behaviour seen in Karva Chauth. A woman was often considered unlucky if her husband passed away, and her life immediately became without purpose upon his death. She was required to wear plain white clothing, eat vegetarian food and not permitted to remarry or remake her life. She lived life as a shell, crippled by the weight of society and judgement. 

"Through destitute or virtue, or seeking pleasure (elsewhere), or devoid of good qualities, (yet) a husband must be constantly worshipped as a god by a faithful wife" - Manusmriti Chapter 5/154 

"At her pleasure let her emaciate her body by (living on) pure flowers, roots, and fruit; but she must never even mention the name of another man after her husband has died." - Manusmriti Chapter 5/157.

This is the religious context of Karva Chauth. A society where a girl's family turn their backs on her from the moment she is married, and then again when her husband's life has ended. Her life is only meaningful if there is a man in it to look after her. She is a burden. A responsibility. A subordinate. Karva Chauth is not a romantic affair. It is the desperation of women whose lives depend on the longevity of their husbands. It is surrender shrouded in a veil of virtue, unconditional love and devotion.

Despite all this I would not recommend the event to be abolished altogether. Like any tradition, there is a sense of communal involvement that makes it worth celebrating. I would suggest that the tradition be extended to include husbands and partners also, and make this a mandatory practice. Nowadays, some men do fast on Karva Chauth to support and respect their spouses, and I salute this decision. I only hope that more men would follow suit! :)

Unfair Fairness

I am going to put aside more pressing issues to have a little (okay, maybe big) rant about something that affects me very much on a personal level. 

I was reading an article about "Why the world still favours white models" on Daily Life and it brought back many frustrating memories and realities like crashing waves against my mind.

The article discusses how the fashion industry is dominated by the white face, even in countries like Brazil where over half the population is either of Black and/or multi-racial decent. "In its entire 118-year existence," the article states, "Vogue has featured just 14 people of colour on its cover." The article argues that despite its shameless and constant misrepresentation of other skin tones, the fashion industry feels no impedance when using exotic, Eastern inspired backdrops for their photo-shoots. Coloured people often embody the role of props or a second grade subject complementing the white person in the foreground. And quite often their few black models only exist as a result of tokenism, to uphold a facade of integration and racial diversity to it's audience when in fact the reality is dishearteningly to the contrary. 

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I won't delve too deeply into the discussion of racism in fashion. What affects me more is when similar attitudes are reflected in communities where a vast number of people are of a darker skin tone, but still have to face this continuous harassment by the media and society which insists on portraying their skin colour as detestable and unattractive. 

Below is a recording of an advertisement for Fair Look cream. I have seen this ad playing on Indian television only a few weeks ago. This is a prime example of how media is contributing to a certain lack of self-esteem visible in dark-skinned people. The cream claims to lighten your skin tone and eliminate blemishes. The ad also features a number of alleged users of the brand, with obviously fake before and after shots of each person.

"Before, people used to call me Uncle. Then Fair Look removed all the marks and darkness on my face, and now I look younger!" One male user exclaimed. "I used to completely avoid sleeveless tops and skirts before because my arms were so black! But after using fair look I've become so white it's hard to believe!" Another female user cries breathlessly, "and now I can wear anything!"

Dark skin is hideous. Dark skin equates to an acne-prone, rough and aged appearance. Dark skinned people cannot wear whatever colour or style of clothing they choose. Dark skinned people have trouble finding a job. A dark skinned woman is unwanted for marriage or relationships. The sub-continental community is inundated with these ugly stereotypes. This is a disgusting and dangerously subtle form of racial apartheid in advertisements and TV shows that regularly go unnoticed by it's complicit viewers. But the psychological impacts are inevitable, and sadly many of our dark-skinned friends have conceded to their state of imposed inferiority. But where did this worship of fair skin spring from?

Some say it is because of the British colonial era, that is, as the rulers were fair toned, Indian people aspire to be like them. Others go further back than that, to a time when the Aryans came to India and founded the religion of Hinduism. In the ancient Hindu scriptures, the Vedas, the term used for caste is varna, or 'colour'. 

"...in the context of the arya's disparaging comments about the 'black' dasa (or the indigenous population of India) is often taken to mean that the higher castes also considered themselves to be fairer-skinned. This is now disputed. According to the Mahabharata the 'colours' associated with the four castes were white, red, yellow and black; they sound more like symbolic shades meted out by those category-conscious brahmanical minds..." (India: A History, John Keay, 2000)

Whether the justifications are rooted in Hindu scripture or British colonialism is besides the point. It is safe to say that the reasons for it are unscientific, racist and although each individual is entitled to a personal preference for a particular skin colour, these ideas have no place in the media, and fair skin or any other trait should not be exalted and imposed as an immovable standard of beauty by society. 

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Now, what does science say?

Skin colour, has evolved primarily as a regulator for vitamins in our body. I will quote extensively here to explain the natural history of skin colour development from the linked source:

"Between 4.5 million and 2 million years ago, early humans moved from the rain forest and onto the East African savanna. Once on the savanna, they not only had to cope with more exposure to the sun, but they also had to work harder to gather food. Mammalian brains are particularly vulnerable to overheating: A change of only five or six degrees can cause a heatstroke. So our ancestors had to develop a better cooling system.

...Early humans probably had few sweat glands, like chimpanzees, and those were mainly located on the palms of their hands and the bottoms of their feet. Occasionally, however, individuals were born with more glands than usual. The more they could sweat, the longer they could forage before the heat forced them back into the shade. The more they could forage, the better their chances of having healthy offspring and of passing on their sweat glands to future generations."

Increased sweat glands in the body went hand in hand with less bodily hair, as less hair ensured that humans dried up faster when perspiring. However, hairless skin was susceptible to sunlight. The evolution of melanin was hence required to control the entry of UV light in our bodies. Excess UV light reduces folate in our bodies - a component of vitamin B complex. Inhibition of folate is detrimental to sperm production, and correlates with neural tube defects in infants. Hence melanin has evolved for dispersing the adverse effects of increased sunlight exposure.  

"Unlike folate, vitamin D depends on ultraviolet light for its production in the body. (It is) believed that people who live in the north, where daylight is weakest, evolved fair skin to help absorb more ultraviolet light..."

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Rather than feeding useless messages of shallow intolerance towards people of colour in the media, the world would be much better off if they had dedicated advertisements to educating people about the essential vitamins they should keep under check, the dangers of tanning and skin cancer, bleaching products and alike, and to maintain a balanced and healthy diet. 

People should be encouraged to be confident about their unique qualities, and not present any one characteristic as being more desirable than another. Every person appears beautiful to their loved ones and most importantly, to themselves. And no filthy advertisement should attempt to pollute this idea!

March Wrap Up

So there were a number of articles that I found interesting over last month, but either didn't get time to write about them or had forgotten that I had saved their links. I will share each one here and make short comments also.

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Full Article: http://www.opposingviews.com/i/religion/christianity/creation-scientist-offering-10000-anyone-who-can-disprove-genesis-creation

March 27, 2013

A Californian scientist "Dr. Mastropaolo is certain that the Biblical creation narrative found in Genesis can be defended in the face of evolutionary science. In fact, he’s so sure of this that he’s willing to bet $10,000 on it." Dr Mastropaolo is a Young Earth Creationist, i.e., he believes the world is between 6000 and 10000 years old.

I am really not sure where this guy received his "science" education from, but your average high school student should be able to tell him about a phenomenon called radioactive dating from the decay of unstable isotopes, and fossil layers. Chapter 4 - Silence and Slow Time - of Richard Dawkins book, The Greatest Show on Earth, explains both the difficulties and the successes of the method. He says that although fossils are generally embedded within sedimentary rock which cannot be dated, layers of igneous rock associated with sedimentary layers CAN be dated. He also explains that there are 158 unstable isotopes of which 121 are extinct. The extinct isotopes are those with half-lives of under 200 million years, while the surviving isotopes have half-lives greater than 700 million years. This alone shows the world is not 6000-10000 years old because if it was, all 157 isotopes would still be present. 

The reason why evolutionary science cannot disprove the creation story is because religious fruitcakes insist on it being a metaphor, and re-interpret it for every scientific discovery that invalidates it. So there is no way to challenge a shifting story.

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Full Article: http://www.smh.com.au/world/delhi-has-four-rapes-a-day-says-minister-20130307-2fopq.html

March 8, 2013

Just a few horrifying statistics on the number of rapes in India. You will all remember the barbaric incident from late last year where a 23 year old girl in Delhi had been raped on a bus, beaten, had her genitals mutilated by an iron bar and stripped of her clothing before being dumped naked with her boyfriend on the side of the road by five men. She died from her internal injuries two weeks later. This grueling story has put India in the hot seat and brought worldwide attention to their neglect of rape cases. Since then more women have become braver about coming forward with complaints. The report states:

"Minister of State for Home Affairs Mullappally Ramachandran told the Indian Parliament's upper house 181 rapes had been reported in the city between January 1 and February 15, an average of about four a day." (OMG!)

"In 2012, 706 rapes were reported, at an average of less than two per day. The increased rate might be attributable to increased reporting of assaults."

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Full Article: http://www.smh.com.au/world/push-to-make-black-magic-a-crime-in-indonesia-20130308-2fpc7.html

March 8, 2013

I found this article mostly amusing. The black magic law is harmless, but just a little bit out of place in the 21st century. What is of concern though is the prospect of jailing those who live together outside of wedlock. It says:

"Australian travellers to Indonesia beware: smuggling drugs will still earn you jail time but, if an official draft of the country's new criminal code becomes law, witches and people practising "black magic", even adulterers and those living together outside wedlock, may also be locked away. 

The new draft law is meant to modernise Indonesia's 1918 Criminal Code, which was last updated in 1958, but some of its proposals constitute a big step back to the Middle Ages. 

In a country where many people earnestly believe that they could be killed, injured or robbed by a sorcerer using black magic, that crime will, for the first time, become part of the criminal law."

Oh, and it also states that "white" magic is perfectly legal :-P Sometimes articles like these make me realise how futile my hope for enlightenment is, where so many people in the largest Islamic population in the world still believe magic is real. If only it was real, I would have asked for an end to poverty and injustice with the wave of a wand.

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Full Article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/14/britons-iraq-invasion-wrong-poll

March 14, 2013

Thought this survey was interesting and showed how the people of Britain and probably other Allied nations understand that all the rhetoric about fighting terrorism and weapons of mass destruction from over 10 years ago has not made a lasting impression on good people, and that the majority now know how destructive the wars have been for their own countries and its international relations.

"More than half the British public believe the decision to invade Iraq was wrong and more than a fifth believe Tony Blair should be tried as a war criminal, according to a poll conducted to mark the 10th anniversary of the conflict.  

A majority (56%) of the public believe the war has increased the risk of a terrorist attack on Britain. More than half, (53%), of those questioned think the invasion was wrong, while just over a quarter (27%) think it was right, according to the YouGov survey.... 

More than a fifth (22%) believe Blair knowingly misled parliament and the public and should be tried as a war criminal over the conflict, according to the poll."

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Full Article(s): http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/15/muslim-brotherhood-backlash-un-womens-rights
http://www.ikhwanweb.com/article.php?id=30731

March 15, 2013

Ok so my comments for the above two articles (which should be read in conjunction with one another) might shound ranty, but is oh-so-necessary for me cause it simply makes my blood boil. The articles are about the Muslim Brotherhood of Egypt's denouncement of the very rational, humanistic and egalitarian conclusions of a UN declaration that seeks to 'End Violence against Women" (see link to conclusions at the end of post). Between the 4th and 15th of March 2013, at the New York UN Headquarters, the 57th session on the UN Commision on the Status of Women (CSW) convened to discuss the declaration. 

The Brotherhood's denouncement states:

"...The (declaration) includes articles that contradict established principles of Islam, undermine Islamic ethics and destroy the family, the basic building block of society, according to the Egyptian Constitution. 

This declaration, if ratified, would lead to complete disintegration of society, and would certainly be the final step in the intellectual and cultural invasion of Muslim countries.... 

A closer look at these articles reveals what decadence awaits our world, if we sign this document: 

1. Granting girls full sexual freedom, as well as the freedom to decide their own gender and the gender of their partners (ie, choose to have normal or homo- sexual relationships), while raising the age of marriage. 

2. Providing contraceptives for adolescent girls and training them to use those, while legalizing abortion to get rid of unwanted pregnancies, in the name of sexual and reproductive rights.

3. Granting equal rights to adulterous wives and illegitimate sons resulting from adulterous relationships. 

4. Granting equal rights to homosexuals, and providing protection and respect for prostitutes. 

5. Giving wives full rights to file legal complaints against husbands accusing them of rape or sexual harassment, obliging competent authorities to deal husbands punishments similar to those prescribed for raping or sexually harassing a stranger. 

6. Equal inheritance (between men and women). 

7. Replacing guardianship with partnership, and full sharing of roles within the family between men and women such as: spending, child care and home chores. 

8. Full equality in marriage legislation such as: allowing Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, and abolition of polygamy, dowry, men taking charge of family spending, etc. 

9. Removing the authority of divorce from husbands and placing it in the hands of judges, and sharing all property after divorce. 

10. Cancelling the need for a husband’s consent in matters like: travel, work, or use of contraception.  

These are destructive tools meant to undermine the family as an important institution; they would subvert the entire society, and drag it to pre-Islamic ignorance... 

In conclusion, we call on women's organizations to commit to their religion and morals of their communities and the foundations of good social life and not be deceived with misleading calls to decadent modernization and paths of subversive immorality..."

It saddens me that words like equal rights, sexual rights, reproductive rights, protection, sharing, partnership, respect and freedom are seen to be threatening by these people. In  no way do any of the above points undermine family. There are so many practices in Islamic countries that undermine family, and force women to remain in households that are harmful and belittling for themselves as well as well as their children. And although it may be true that abortion should essentially be an upsetting concept or experience for a parent, a number of benefits with regards to family life have been observed in areas in the United States where abortion was legalised and made safe and accessible to women. Benefits can be found on the Planned Parenthood website here: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/files/PPFA/med_social_benefits_2009-11.pdf

Egyptian people have fought hard to overthrow the Mubarak government, against its dictatorship, corruption and violation of human rights. It will be absolutely heartbreaking if the revolution became wasted on the mere transferal of one dictatorship to another.

CSW Conclusions 2013: daw/csw/csw57/CSW57_agreed_conclusions_advance_unedited_version_18_March_2013.pdf

Sex

While I am at work each day I often browse through the online news in the mornings and during the breaks. As I am unable to share news articles on Facebook (because it is blocked here), I email the articles to myself   with the intention of sharing it at a later time! But that never happens because the articles either become outdated by the time I remember to post them, or I hear someone comment on how annoying news-related Facebook posts can be, so I've decided to filter my deeper musings through to this page.

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I read the article "What the sex doctor orders" by Amrit Dhillon on SMH, Feb 28 2013. It is linked at the end of this page. The purpose of me referring to articles on this blog is not to paraphrase them here, or to repeat the same ideas. But to briefly share things which stir strong emotions inside me, whether it be anger happiness or  sadness.

The article is about a doctor named Mahinder Watsa who specialises in sex in India. He answers people's questions and concerns in the paper alongside seeing patients in person. Speaking about, writing about and depicting honest and natural sexual behaviour is sometimes a challenge in India, and can lead to major controversies especially when it comes to film. The article highlights a handful of common misconceptions about sex among young people in India, which I found to be quite frustrating but hardly shocking considering the number of people who are unable to access good education there.

''A man who had no sexual experience married a woman who happened to have received some basic sex education at her Catholic school,'' Watsa says. ''The first time they made love, neither had any idea what to do. So she made a suggestion. He was so horrified that she seemed to know about sex that he divorced her.''

This caught my attention because although I live in a developed country where there's little social pressure for anybody to be a virgin prior to marriage, I have still heard of this mentality showing through in our ethnic community. The idea of a girl knowing more or even as much as a man about sex is terrifying to them. This makes me angry, particularly because nowadays there is nothing you cannot Google to find out. And women are just as curious about sex as men are. And even if her knowledge came from practical experience, how she has chosen to use her body in the past does not define her morality. Or anyone's morality. So long as they did not hurt anybody in the process.


I have also heard of guys here becoming angry with their girlfriends because of the absence of blood during their first time. This frustrates me, as there is no way of telling if a man is a virgin or not, so it gives them no right to expect or want her body to show signs of virginity. 

''I had a 28-year-old woman from a rural background with no child. I told the husband to get a sperm count done,'' Watsa says. ''Before he could do it, she jumped into a well because the family kept blaming her. It's only when men remarry, after divorcing their wife for so called infertility, that they realise it's their problem because they can't conceive with the second wife either.''

Again, a similar kind of problem. I am surprised at how a family can blame the woman for everything, when they already know that it could be the man's problem (he was going to get a sperm count done - this validates my point that they were not uneducated about this). And many a times it is the mother-in-law and other female-in-laws who are most involved in the verbal taunting and blaming. They should know better. Everybody should know better. And that is why it is important for women to be independent and confident about their ability to live without a man, so that they don't jump into a well every time divorce is mentioned.

People say that ignorance is bliss. I believe ignorance is dangerous. Very very dangerous. I salute Dr Watsa for providing practical answers for the young generation, despite his age. He should be an inspiration to others in the same field as him.

Dr Mahinder Watsa

Full article: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/what-the-sex-doctor-orders-20130227-2f64a.html