Karva Chauth - Romantic or Sexist?

Karva Chauth is a day long Hindu festival celebrated by women in India. Married (and sometimes unmarried) women fast from sunrise to moon-rise for the longevity and health of their husbands. Fasting women do no house work during karva chauth. Gifts are exchanged and a ritualistic ceremony is held in the evening by women only, where stories are told, songs are sung and beautiful garments in red orange and gold are worn by participants. The fast is broken when the moon is sighted and the husband feeds the wife. Karva Chauth was celebrated on October 22 this year.

Without putting the above described rituals into context, one may mistakenly paint a mental picture of Karva Chauth as being a romantic tradition full of colour, vitality and representing the idealistic unconditional and selfless love a woman ought to feel towards her husband. In fact, on Taslima Nasreen's blog - where she criticised Karva Chauth for it's "patriarchal bullshit" - several responses in the comments section evidenced that many people still view it as a harmless occasion.

But I will argue that it is far from harmless. It is very important to realise the societal context which bred this festival in the first place, and therefore the mentality attached to it's very core. And this mentality reverberates in women throughout the subcontinent, Hindu or not.

Karva chauth is an embodiment of a woman's dependence on her husband. It is a yearly reminder to women in the subcontinent that it's their responsibility to pray and fast for the longevity of their husbands, and not a mutual effort made from both sides. 

In Hindu society, a woman is passed on from her father's home to her husbands home, and if she is lucky enough to birth a male child, she ultimately finds herself in the custody of her son's home. At no time in her life is she in control of her person-hood and independence. She is merely property.

"In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent." - Manusmriti Chapter 5/148.

Him to whom her father may give her, or her brother with the father's permission, she shall obey as long as he lives, and when he is dead, she must not insult (his memory)" - Manusmriti Chapter 5/151.

A woman may assume four different roles during her life: One of a dasi (slave), one of a mantri (counsellor or advisor), one of a mata (mother) and one of a rambha (lover). She is expected to manage her utensils and home with care, and is therefore locked into choices that give her no autonomy and no identity. She is owned, and does not own. She manages, but does not lead. As she is protected, fed and watered by her husband and his household, she is obliged to perform her duties without complaint.

"She must always be cheerful, clever in (the management of her) household affairs, careful in cleaning her utensils, and economical in expenditure" - Manusmriti 5/150.

Despite his shortcomings, a man should be treated like a deity by a wife, and this is the kind of behaviour seen in Karva Chauth. A woman was often considered unlucky if her husband passed away, and her life immediately became without purpose upon his death. She was required to wear plain white clothing, eat vegetarian food and not permitted to remarry or remake her life. She lived life as a shell, crippled by the weight of society and judgement. 

"Through destitute or virtue, or seeking pleasure (elsewhere), or devoid of good qualities, (yet) a husband must be constantly worshipped as a god by a faithful wife" - Manusmriti Chapter 5/154 

"At her pleasure let her emaciate her body by (living on) pure flowers, roots, and fruit; but she must never even mention the name of another man after her husband has died." - Manusmriti Chapter 5/157.

This is the religious context of Karva Chauth. A society where a girl's family turn their backs on her from the moment she is married, and then again when her husband's life has ended. Her life is only meaningful if there is a man in it to look after her. She is a burden. A responsibility. A subordinate. Karva Chauth is not a romantic affair. It is the desperation of women whose lives depend on the longevity of their husbands. It is surrender shrouded in a veil of virtue, unconditional love and devotion.

Despite all this I would not recommend the event to be abolished altogether. Like any tradition, there is a sense of communal involvement that makes it worth celebrating. I would suggest that the tradition be extended to include husbands and partners also, and make this a mandatory practice. Nowadays, some men do fast on Karva Chauth to support and respect their spouses, and I salute this decision. I only hope that more men would follow suit! :)